It's a Muggle Thing
by CallmeStanley
Summary: Collab with The Starkiller. American witches Stanley and Starkiller become exchange students and join the Golden Trio at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, befriending the Golden Trio and the Weasley twins. What is in store for them during their year in Britain?
1. Chapter 1

**Hey-ooo! This story is something that my friend and I came up with while we were high on Mountain Dew-therefore, the title says it's a collab with The Starkiller (she also tells me to ask you guys to check out her other stuff). This story is completely AU, so don't complain that they lived in the '90's. Gracias.**

**-Stanley**

¡Stanley and Starkiller Meet Harry Potter!  
By: Stanley03 and The Starkiller

Chapter One

"Starkiller and Stanley, please come to the Headmaster's office!" the loudspeakers blared. A chorus of "ooooooh"s arose in the classroom. The two fifth year witches were secretly thrilled to be called out of History of Magic, taught by Professor Kallungi.

"That was lucky!" Stanley told her friend.

"Yeah," Starkiller agreed. "If I sat there any longer, I would have used an Unforgivable on myself."

They arrived at the Headmaster's Office after goofing in the girls' lavatory for ten minutes.

"Milk Duds," Starkiller and Stanley said at the same time. The door swung open.

"Sit down," Professor Sutton commanded. The two witches sat down instantly. "Do you know why you're here?"

"I have no idea, Professor-" Stanley said, but Starkiller interrupted her.

"We didn't do it!" she interrupted.

"You're not in trouble," Professor Sutton reassured. The fifth years sighed audibly in relief. The headmaster chuckled. "The reason you were called is because you were chosen to be exchange students." The students were ecstatic.

"What school are we going to?" Stanley asked.

"You will be going to England's Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry-" The two students had an instant fangirl moment. They both loved the books written by a British Muggle author about Hogwarts, called "Harry Potter". "-You will be traded for two students called-" the Professor had to pull up the original email from the Hogwarts headmaster, Albus Dumbledore. "Their names are Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle."

"Poor bastards," Starkiller whispered to her friend. "They get _Crabbe and Goyle_!" Stanley snickered at their classmates' bad fortune.

"Is there something funny about that, Miss Starkiller and Miss Stanley?" the professor asked as he raised an eyebrow.

"No sir," they said.

With that, they left the office, wondering what awaited them at Hogwarts.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

The two witches went to Hogwarts through the Floo network, escourted by Professor Hazard, their favorite professor at Poynette School of Magic and Junk.

"Wait, where are we going to stay during the summer before we go to school?" Stanley asked the professor as she and her friend glanced at Diagon Alley, where they had come out on accident.

"You two will have a host family," Professor Hazard said. "We'll meet them at Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour, wherever that is."

Starkiller looked at him. "What do you mean, 'wherever that is'? You're supposed to be our escort!"

"There's a spell for that," the professor said nonchalantly. He muttered a few inaudible words, and a stream of gold sparks flew out of his wand. "Follow me! By the way, did I ever tell you that joke-"

"YES!" they replied in sync, and it was true. They had heard it a million times.  
After numurous tries of trying to find Florean's the two witches had given up on their professor.

"Professor, how about you go check out the music? I'm sure there's a significant difference between ours and their's," Starkiller reasoned.

The sound of "Cauldron Full Of Hot Strong Love" by The Weird Sisters caught his ear. "Strange... Yes, I'll go check that out..."

They were officially left to their own devices. Suddenly, they saw a huge cluster of red heads outside of a shop across the street, and knew it couldn't be a coincedence.

They looked at each other, "No way!"

"Yo gingers!" Stanley yelled. Starkiller nudged her pointing to the nine pairs of eyes. They ran up to their host family.

"Oi! That's 'Mr. Ginger' to you, missy," one of the twin boys said, then smiled a crooked smile. "But my friends call me Gingy sometimes."

"S'not my fault Stanley has no manners," Starkiller said she stuck out her hand. "Starkiller, pleased to make your aquaintence," she introduced herself.

"Don't be absurd," Stanley said in a posh accent. "I have manners! It just depends on the day."

The twins grinned, "We'll introduce you to the circus. That's Mum and Dad, obviously, and behind Mum is Ginny, I'm Forge, he's Gred, over there ogling you is Ronniekins, and his friends Harry and Hermione." Ron turned a bright shade of red to match his hair.

"Am not!" he argued. Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Are too," Harry said. "You're not fooling anybody."

"Is 'Stanley' a girl name in your culture?" Mr. Weasley asked Stanley.

"Arthur!" Mrs. Weasley scolded him.

"What?" he asked. "I'm trying to be educational for the sake of our children!"

"Don't worry," Stanley assured. "It's my nickname."

"What's your real name then?" Hermione asked.

"Stanley," she replied nonchalantly.

"Oh." Hermione said. "I'm still confused, but 'oh.'"

"Don't you have any trunks?" Harry asked.

"We used the Shrinky-spell thing," Starkiller said. "They're in the pockets of our robes."

"It's _called_-" Hermione started, but Ron nudged her.

"We don't want you to frighten them off!" he said. "This might be my only chance to get cool siblings!" She huffed.

"Oi!" three voices said at once.

"Well, it's true," Ron said.

"Let's get back to the Burrow before they regret even coming here," Mrs. Weasley scolded all of her children.

"Fine..."

Starkiller and Stanley looked at each other as the followed Fred and George to the fireplace, "This is going to be a great year."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

"Make yourselves at home, dears," Mrs. Weasley told them. "Ginny and Hermione will show you your room."

The girls went up the stairs while listening to Mrs. Weasley warning Fred and George that "if you put one of your concoctions in their food or anything, I swear-" The rest of the threat was drowned out as they reached the second floor.

"Fred and George seem fun," Starkiller commented as Ginny opened the door to her room.

"Oh no, you two are like them!" Hermione groaned.

"What do you mean 'Like Them'?" Stanley asked, air quotations and all.

"You know, playing pranks. Causing havoc," Hermione answered.

"So anyways, what houses are you guys in?" Ginny asked.

"Oh, we don't have houses at our school," Starkiller replied. "It's sort of like one big house."

"That's so disfunctional," Hermione said as she made Stanley and Starkiller's trunks full size.

"Well, we are American," Starkiller said.

"Yeah, only in America," Stanley laughed.

"What's so funny?" Ginny asked.

"Nothing, it's a muggle thing," Stanley answered.

"Ah," Ginny said. There was a knock on the door. "Go away!" Ginny yelled at the door.

"As if we were coming to speak to you," George (or was it Fred?) scoffed. They opened the door without being let in by their sister.

"So, foreigners," Fred said.

"Fred!" Hermione exclaimed.

"What? They called us gingers," George justified.

"Anyways, foreigners," Fred continued. "Did we hear correctly that you two like pranks?"

"Perhaps," Stanley replied as she bounced on her bed.

"Well, we propose that we form an alliance when the school year comes," Fred offered.

"Hogwarts won't even know what hit them," George grinned.

"Sounds like a laugh," Starkiller replied. "We'll do it."

"Great!" Fred said.

"We'll meet later today to discuss our plans," George finished for his twin.

"Cool, we'll be there," Stanley agreed. The twins left.

"Agh! Are you trying to make my life hell?" Hermione asked them.

"Not just yours," Starkiller reassured. "Hogwarts in all of its entirty too."

Ginny laughed, "This year will definitely be epic."

"Oh no!" Hermione moaned.


	4. Chapter 4

"Ready to terrorize Hogwarts?" George asked as the four sat down in their compartment on the Hogwarts Express with another boy and another girl, who were introduced as Lee and Angelina.

"Hells yeah!" Starkiller agreed. The British wizards and witch eyed her.

"It's a muggle thing," Stanley pardoned her friend.

"So do you guys play Quidditch?" Angelina asked.

"Yeah," Starkiller answered. "We're Beaters on our team."

"You two will fit right in with Fred and George, then," Angelina said.

"Do you play?" Stanley asked.

"Yep," Angelina answered. "I'm a Chaser."

"I announce," Lee replied.

"About how much you want to go out with me!" Angelina hit him.

"Anything from the trolley, dears?" the Trolley Lady asked.

"Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans," Starkiller said.

"I'll have a Chocolate Frog," Stanley answered. "Ah come on, I already have a Dumbledore!" The British wizards glance at each other.

"You know who Dumbledore is?" Fred asked, astonished.

"Who doesn't?" Stanley answered.

"Oh, well, we thought that since you're not from here-" George said.

"Just because we're foreigners doesn't mean we don't know things," Starkiller answered. "We're literate, we can read. I can even count!"

"We probably know a lot more than you think," Stanley said.

"No need to blow up on us; same team," Lee said as they pulled into Hogwarts.

"Woah, it's even bigger in person," Stanley said.

"Firs' years, over here, firs' years," Hagrid yelled over the crowd.

"That's us, see you inside." Starkiller yelled as Stanley dragged her away. As they approached Hargrid, Starkiller made eye contact with him and yelled,

"HAGRID!"

"Eh, hello. Aren't you two a little tall to be firs' years?" he asked.

"Yes because we're fifth years transfers," Stanley answered.

"Hey Stanley," Starkiller said. "Are you and Hagrid the same height?"

"Let me check," Stanley replied as she went over to Hagrid. "Are we? We are!"

"Yer pretty tall for fifteen year old," Hagrid said.

"Oh, that's because her Dad's part squatch," Starkiller quipped.

"Interesting," Hagrid said. "Well come along, time for you to get sorted."

"I'M ON A BOAT," said Starkiller as they stepped onto the boats.

"I'm confused," said a little firs' year.

"Don't worry about it, it's a muggle thing," Stanley said.

"O-ok," the firs' year answered. "What house do you want to be in?"

"GRYFFINDOR!" Stanley yelled.

"'Where dwell the brave at heart'," Starkiller recited.

"What about you?" The firs' year asked Starkiller.

"Same as Stanley," Starkiller answered as they pulled up to the castle.

"Yes! Sorting time!" Stanley cheered.

"I think we're more excited than most of the first years here," Starkiller said as they entered the Great Hall. Instantly, they spotted the twin red heads with Angelina and Lee. They also picked out Harry, Hermione, and Ron.

After Dumbledore's speech, and Stanley and Starkiller stood silently, waiting for their turn to get sorted.

"Stanley, Jessica," McGonagall said.

"Here goes nothing," Stanley muttered as she climbed up the steps.

_Oh, you're definitely not a first year_, the hat said as it was placed on Stanley's head.

"You're very observant," Stanley deadpanned.

_Hmmm... _the hat mused. _You're intelligent, very intelligent. You also are very ambitious. You'd do well in Slytherin. _

"NOT SLYTHERIN!" Stanley exclaimed on accident.

_Not Slytherin? _the hat asked. _Better be RAVENCLAW!_

The four tables clapped, and Stanley joined the Ravenclaws.

"Hello," a girl said to her in a breathy voice. "My name's Luna Lovegood."

"I'm Jessica Stanley," Stanley introduced herself.

"Starkiller, Rose," McGonagall read from the scroll.

Starkiller sat down on the stool, and the Sorting Hat was placed onto her head.

_Oh, you're like the last one, _the hat said.

"I hope that's a good thing?" Starkiller said.

_Just strange is all. Hmmm... You're an interesting one, Rose-or should I say Starkiller?-yes, I think you prefer that, don't you?You could be in any of the houses. You're loyal, you're brave, you're very intelligent, and you're ambitious, _the hat mused. _But I think you would do well in SLYTHERIN!_

Starkiller frowned a little, but she joined the Slytherins.

"I'm Draco." said a fellow Slytherin, sticking out his hand. "Draco Malfoy." Starkiller observed him; he was a pale boy, with grey eyes and platinum blond hair. There were two empty spots next to him where Starkiller assumed that Crabbe and Goyle had sat before they went to America. She shook his hand.

"My name is Rose. Rose Starkiller."


	5. Chapter 5

Days passed, and the two fifth years slowly began to adjust to their houses and make friends within the houses. They still hung out with the Gryffindors, though Stanley was getting close to Luna, and Starkiller was starting to befriend Malfoy (the REAL Malfoy). It wasn't long until Stanley and Starkiller were bombarded with letters from friends and professors at Poynette School of Magic and Junk.

"Hold still, Ruby! I can't get the letters off your leg," Starkiller said, untying the letter from her owl.

"Hey, here's one from Mayo!" Starkiller said.

_Dear Starkiller,_

_Crabbe and Goyle are horrid. They turned all of our quills into birds, so now I'm trying to write this with the bird's beak! Anyways, how's Hogwarts? Did you meet anybody interesting enough to tell me about? OH! Did you meet any Weasleys, or Harry Potter? Well, I should go, this bird is getting pecky. (Get it?)_

_Until you return my letter,_

_Mayo_

Starkiller laughed looking around from the Slytherin table, and noticed Stanley running towards her.

"Look, I got a letter from Professor Hazard," Stanley said, ignoring the glares coming from the Slytherins.

_Hello Stanley,_

_How is your new school? Do you have any samples of music you could send me? Especially something from the Weird Sisters! I supposed your band teacher there doesn't tell my famous family stories, so here's an old classic..._

"I'll read that later," Stanley told Starkiller.

_So have you guys heard of Crabbe and Goyle? They cause quite the ruckus around here, it's pretty lifeless in band without you two. Enjoy Hogwarts!_

_Sincerely,_

_Professor Hazard_

"They seem to miss us," Starkiller noted as she stacked the letters next to her.

"Wouldn't you if you had to deal with Crabbe and Goyle for a whole year?" Stanley hissed, hoping the Slytherin table hadn't heard her. They laughed.

"So," Stanley asked stuffing the letter in her pocket. "What's your first class?" Starkiller grabbed her bag off the floor, and rummaged through it for her schedule, finally she pulled it out of her bag.

"Uh, looks like I have Transfiguration, you?"

"Gimme a second," Stanley said snatching her schedule out of her pocket. "Yes! Transfiguration!"

"Awesome," Starkiller said fist bumping Stanley.

"Should we head to class?" Stanley asked.

"Yeah," Starkiller answered. The two walked down the corridors to Transfiguration when Malfoy stopped them, and asked Stanley.

"And who are you?" Malfoy sneered.

"I'm Jessica Stanley, and you are?" Stanley said glaring right back at him.

"Stanley this is _**Draco Malfoy**_," Starkiller said hoping to ease the tension.

"Oh," Stanley said, her glare less intense. "I know you. You're friends with Crabbe and Goyle,"

"And how would you know that?" Malfoy asked walking with them.

"Well, they got transfered to our school," Starkiller said. "While we got transferred here," When Malfoy looked confused, they explained the whole process.

"Alright then, so you two are just taking Crabbe and Goyle's places for a whole year?"

"Yep, so keep that foul attitude away, because I'll be here awhile," Stanley said. Malfoy grimaced.

"Fine. Pleasure to meet you... Stanley."


	6. Chapter 6

I said my goodbyes to Starkiller and Draco; I think he's starting to grow on me. He had some twisted views about muggleborns, but other than that, he seemed decent.

As I'm approaching the Ravenclaw common room, I saw Luna outside about to enter.

"LUNA, DON'T LEAVE ME BEHIND!" I yelled running towards the door as fast as my legs could carry me. I am horrible at those riddles. When I catch up to her I bent over gasping for air. "As you can see-I don't run much,"I gasped.

"Oh," she said. When I regained my function for air I followed Luna into the common room. We take a seat, and talk about Nargles and other things. After awhile she seemed to space out, so I sat there thinking: Why am I in Ravenclaw?

"Luna," I asked. "Do you have any idea why I'm in Ravenclaw, because I don't really think I'm 'Ravenclaw Worthy'"

"Well," Luna said closing the 'Quibbler'. "Do you think you have any of the traits?" I stayed quiet for a minute, what were they again?

"Uh, I really do suck at creative writing, and I'm not very witty," Luna said. "But I'm assuming that you don't need them all, right?"

"Well, the Sorting Hat must have seen something in you," Luna said as she stood up. "even if you don't know what it is yet. See you tomorrow." With that, she walked up the stairs to the girls' dormitories.

"Bye Luna," I called after her. She left me sitting there even more confused then I was before.


	7. Chapter 7

"Starkiller," Malfoy said curtly as he sat down across from me in the common room.

I closed my book and looked at him, "Malfoy. What's up?"

"Father's angry with me because Granger has higher grades than me," he said.

"Hermione has higher grades than _everyone_," I said sarcastically.

"Tell that to my father," Malfoy said with a shrug.

I looked down at the snake embroidered on my robes. "I don't think I belong here, Malfoy."

"Well, you're here for a reason," he said. "You should be honored to have been picked to be in Slytherin."

"Well, first off, I'm a half-blood," I started. "Second off, I don't think I'm a bad guy. Am I?"

"Professor Snape is a half-blood, same with the Dark Lord," Malfoy told me. "And we're not all bad guys. Some of us are nice. Am I a bad guy?"

"It's up for debate," I quipped.

"Haha, you're so funny," he said sarcastically as he stood up. "While I'm thinking about, do you have anymore Muggle records for me? I really liked the last one."

I stretched, "Yeah. This one's called _Nevermind_, it's by an American band called Nirvana. I think you'll like it."

He nodded and turned to go up to the boys' dorms, but then he turned around to look at me.

"Thanks, Rose. I guess Muggles aren't _all _that bad."

"Don't ever call me that again."

"Goodnight, Starkiller," Malfoy told me as he went up the stairs.

"'Night, Malfoy."


	8. Chapter 8

"Starkiller," Malfoy said curtly as he sat down across from me in the common room.

I closed my book and looked at him, "Malfoy. What's up?"

"Father's angry with me because Granger has higher grades than me," he said.

"Hermione has higher grades than _everyone_," I said sarcastically.

"Tell that to my father," Malfoy said with a shrug.

I looked down at the snake embroidered on my robes. "I don't think I belong here, Malfoy."

"Well, you're here for a reason," he said. "You should be honored to have been picked to be in Slytherin."

"Well, first off, I'm a half-blood," I started. "Second off, I don't think I'm a bad guy. Am I?"

"Professor Snape is a half-blood, same with the Dark Lord," Malfoy told me. "And we're not all bad guys. Some of us are nice. Am I a bad guy?"

"It's up for debate," I quipped.

"Haha, you're so funny," he said sarcastically as he stood up. "While I'm thinking about, do you have anymore Muggle records for me? I really liked the last one."

I stretched, "Yeah. This one's called _Nevermind_, it's by an American band called Nirvana. I think you'll like it."

He nodded and turned to go up to the boys' dorms, but then he turned around to look at me.

"Thanks, Rose. I guess Muggles aren't _all _that bad."

"Don't ever call me that again."

"Goodnight, Starkiller," Malfoy told me as he went up the stairs.

"'Night, Malfoy."


End file.
